There was a time in my life when I feared marriage through and through. In fact it wasn’t that long ago.
Eight months into my marriage, I am still overwhelmed and overjoyed by the transformation God took me through. It was a lengthy process to reverse the lies that chained me.
He started by revealing root issues back in 2007. I didn’t think I was worthy, nor beautiful. I didn’t understand how God could love me, nor how I could love God back. I couldn’t cope with the pain and loss from my parents’ divorce, nor the subsequent fears of marriage.
So it was a combination of elements that helped build that protective wall ten stories tall, keeping any man from my tender little heart.
When Honey Dude entered the scene, four years later, I had just recently overcome a mountain of hurt. It was then, after I’d dealt with old wounds and broken dreams, that I was free to love and be loved. It was then, after I rebuilt my foundation on The Rock, I was free to let this man into my heart.
It’s the tough times in our lives that threaten to harden us, or protect at all costs. But it is such a burden to bear: all that hurt. I have experienced true freedom in Christ and I tell you, it is far, far sweeter to choose faith over fear. We were built to love and to love well.
The truth is, it was a long, beautiful journey in the end. No, it’s not pretty to look back and see the crummy lies that owned me. But it is a joy to see the way God used that, how He delicately spoke to me and loved me and repurposed my heart.
For that, I am grateful. Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends! May you find yourself in a season of thanks and reflection all the days of your life!