There is this rhetoric out there that it is best for couples like us to hold off on building the nursery, to hold off on buying onesies, diapers, bottles, the gamut. The sentiment, of course, follows the notion that birthmom might change her mind. “You don’t want to look at an empty nursery now, do you?”… Continue reading The rhetoric
In this time of waiting, I can’t help but entertain my imagination. I imagine the call. We are both home, sleeping, when it rings. I jump up to answer it, positive it is, in fact, “the” call. Our child has already been born! And she is waiting for us in a hospital five hours away.… Continue reading The dream, the nightmare
Dear Child, Today – November 24, 2016 – marks the 40 week mark in our current adoption journey, the journey that will lead us to you. These 40 weeks have been peppered with joy and hope, yet sadness and longing as we wait, and wait, and wait for the call that will unite us. Oh… Continue reading Dear Child
I’m so mad, so emotionally wrecked, that I’m binge-eating. Sweet, addictive, organic dried mango. I’m pretty sure I just consumed about four servings of the stuff, at 20 grams of natural sugar per serving. But at this point of the Daniel Fast, it’s all I can do to feign the real cravings for a waffle cone… Continue reading The binge
It’s been many months unsaid, but yes, we are still carrying the burden of barrenness, such an ugly word. But it is a worse reality. We have been trying, without success, to bring a little baby into this world for more than two years now. That is 24 months of agony. Twenty-four months of built-up… Continue reading Moving towards adoption
The waiting game is hard enough. But the latest insult came when recently rejected by our health care provider. “Sorry, we can’t see you,” they said. “Call back when you’ve been trying for at least 13 months.” I was disgusted. “What? Are you kidding?” I asked. “I’m telling you we want to come in and pay… Continue reading Infertility? Fake it til you make it.
They are just too cute, these two. Everything they do delights me, from their precious acts of love to the beautiful belly laughs provoked by silly “Uncle Peter” (Honey Dude). As I can see it, life is just so grand, so pure in the eyes of a child. For how adorable they are, I can’t… Continue reading Beautiful belly laughs
I’ve implied it from the very beginning, in vague comments and musings of our future. But I haven’t been able to pen the truth in plain language, for all to see. I guess that’s because baby-making is a private journey between husband and wife, from the joyful intimacy to the continual whispers, prayers, and dreams… Continue reading Still no baby. Thus we wait.
In our first month of marriage, Honey Dude and I decided we wanted to plant a vegetable garden. It was fun. We took a friend’s $60 cash wedding gift and went straight to the store, where we picked out seeds and starts and then excitedly planted them in an egg carton to grow. It was… Continue reading Proud parents
I know what you’re thinking. An ultrasound can only mean one thing. She’s pregnant. But no. I used to think the same thing. Until last week’s tummy pain took me to the doc, and after a series of tests, finally prescribed me an ultrasound. Not to hear the first sounds of my child’s heartbeat, not… Continue reading My first ultrasound